Tragedy of olympic proportions
This is old news, but I’m so incensed I just need to offload, so I do apologise. Normal service will resume shortly, although only after I tick a couple of others off my list too. But I am really struggling to get past this one, which is the report that Russia delayed its invasion of Ukraine until after the Beijing Winter Olympics, possibly at the request of China.
It all seems so long ago now – the olympics finished a month ago, 20th Feb – having been completely, and rightly, eclipsed by what happened next. But cast your mind back and Vlad and Pooh met up just before the games to shoot the breeze about ice hockey, swap playlists, and to discuss a common approach to the human rights of their respective peoples. And if they then went on to discuss the hypothetical invasion of a neighbour, well, I can only imagine the conversion might have gone somehting like this:
Pooh: So, Vlad, pretty great impressive huh?
Vlad: Da, all the world will take notice of your great light and dance spectacle and show you great respect. And when we win all the medals, they will show Russia great respect too, and then we will be great leaders together on the world stage.
Pooh: Sure Vlad, sure, but Russia isn’t actually in these olymics is it? Remember when you hosted the last games at Sochi and got caught with your sticky paws in the honey pot? And that’s why Russia isn’t at these one’s? It’s a little, let’s say, demeaning, to be seen to be so desperate for people to fear you, don’t you think?
Vlad: Da, da, Pooh, just like all your swimmers heh? Still, we’ll still ‘clean up’ in the figure skating, ha ha. Anyway, soon the world will really take notice of Russia.
Pooh: Oh Vlad, you’ve got that look in your eye, what are you up to Vlad? Not more novichok? Not thinking of piping it there are you?
Vlad: No, this time we go old-skool, like Rocky, only this time we win! Then they’ll respect us!
Pooh: You know, Vlad, I’m not so sure I like the idea of this. I mean, what if they stop buying all our plastic tat and fast fashion and can’t pay back all the money they owe us? Don’t go too crazy!
Vlad: They won’t do anything: each time we do do something more provocative and mess it up they do nothing. And guess what? [whispers] instead of spending money on boring things like roads and hospitals, I’ve been saving up for a big – ahem – fireworks display! Then the people will love me! Say, if you have any ‘fireworks’ spare, you could come too if you want?
Pooh: Oh, Vlad, that’s not the way we do it here, but you go ahead, it’ll be fun wo watch. Who knows, you’ll maybe even make us look like the good guys huh?
Vlad: Then we’ll have to come for you too huh? Just a joke…
Pooh: Seriously Vlad, whatever you’re up to, do it after the games. You’ll make me look bad, and you don’t want that do you? That’s if you want me to look the other way.
Vlad: Sure, sure, we will bring down the west together, huh!
Pooh: Sure, Vlad. But after the games hey? Don’t go spoiling the ganes and making me look bad.
And on that basis:
This girl got to keep her leg a few days longer.
The 18 year-old in this car, being driven by his grandmother to safety, got to live a few days longer
Tetiana Perebyinis, 43, got to spend a few extra days with her husband, and her two children, Mykyta, 18, and Alisa, 9, with their dad.
Anatoly Berezhnyi, 26, had a few extra days thinking he might see the summer, and maybe many summers.
And so it goes on. But good to get the olympics out of the way first, eh? Don’t want to look bad or anything.
Still, it’s distracted people from Xinjiang (as if anyone really cared), so job well done.
